Mythology jokes
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
Neighbor 1: Knock knock.
Neighbor 2: You forgot the 3rd knock.
Odin: .....
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do elves study in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
Medusa makes men hard.