What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
a goat drank my redbull, so now it's a baphomet!!!
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Which brand of underwear does Thor is wearing ?- Asgard.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
