My jokes

I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

My foot itches.

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

Me and 1/2 of my friends.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.

herishy, my little sissy dont report me.

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."