My jokes

My car 🚘

I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.

Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!

Put some Windex on it.

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

So my bus... goodness.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

No. Eat my butt!

I have breakfast with my boys.

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?