My jokes

JOKES

1. my life 2. pat as a cat.

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.

My dick hard.

Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.

My life is a joke.

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

My I.

May I who?

May I put this pussy on your mouth?

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!

What the fuck.

Now I've seen everything.

Why is my butt wet? I forgot.

Yo forehead is so freaking big, but not bigger than my BBC. 😏

Me: I call my girl Cinderella.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because she loves balls.

Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?

Him: No, have you seen where it is?

Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.

Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?

A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"

I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!