My jokes

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where is my tractor?"

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Where is this pic of me in my bra?

Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!

Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.

Hint: Pictures of woman.

Btw, for men only!

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?

"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."

"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.

Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

My superpower is that I can create life.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"

Mom: "Yes."

Son: "Where are my real parents?"

Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.