I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD
PS free sex at my name
My Jokes
My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.
We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Can someone be my daddy?
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
I’m back and have a joke my friend said!
Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.
Person 2: What was it?
Person 1: He went as himself.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
