My jokes
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sister.
Sister who?
My sister's ass.
I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Me say, "Crack my finger."
My hubby crack my finger.
Now say it backwards.
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!