My life #freemymanrkelly
My Jokes
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
JOKES
1. my life 2. pat as a cat.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.
My life is a joke.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
My mom is gay.
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
Yan nan ate my salty penis.
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
