My jokes

It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

"I love you with all my heart."

Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?

"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."

"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

To anyone who wants to be my friend:

Hello.

Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!

Alex <3

Where is this pic of me in my bra?

Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!

Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.

Hint: Pictures of woman.

Btw, for men only!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where is my tractor?"

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sister.

Sister who?

My sister's ass.

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!