My jokes
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.