My jokes

Squirrel: I got a joke.

Dog: What the hell is it?

Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

My father can take a joke because he made one.

Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?

My life.

My PC.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!