My jokes

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

I have fun with my friends.

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

My uncle was a priest.

He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.

I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.