My jokes

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

"Mayotte’s are sinking in the yogurt! (My Oat’s)" 🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

El/11: Ego, My Lego.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?