My jokes

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?

"My bum hurts."

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.

Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.

Bully: u_u ......

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...

Your PP is small, just like my will to live.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.