My jokes

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.

I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.

My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?

"My bum hurts."

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"