My jokes

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

What did the 3-year-old boy say to the priest?

"My bum hurts."

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.

Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.

Bully: u_u ......

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

Your PP is small, just like my will to live.

Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.