My jokes

Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.