My jokes

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.