My Jokes

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked

A kitten sits in a green bowl. The bowl's shadow is visible on the ground, and it appears that the bowl is floating, creating an optical illusion. The image is on a website called Memedroid with menu items on the left and popular taggs on the right.

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Roses are red, violets are violet,

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Would you like to win 100k?

Comment on my next video for a chance to win!

Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

My dad left me, lol.

My gamer tag is TheBigAut.

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.