My jokes

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

My parents love me.

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.

I love my dog!

If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.