My jokes
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
My name says it all.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
My username good.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.