My jokes
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
I love my dog!
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)