My jokes

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club.

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?

One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.

At gym class today, my friend made this song:

🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

My ex.

My name is Giselle.

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.