I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
My Jokes
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
