My jokes

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.

What did the lungs say to the cigar?

"You take my breath away..."

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

I like my coffee like my men, long and black.

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Please End My Depression And Suffering.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

Wanna hear a funny joke?

My life.

My life.

My life, lmao.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.