Musician jokes
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?
Little Seizures.
What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?
A rapscallion without the rap.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"