Musician jokes
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.