Musician jokes
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.