Musician jokes
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?
A rapscallion without the rap.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What do you call a rapper who's always sleepy?
NAP-TAIN
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac-square
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!