Musician jokes
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?
A rapscallion without the rap.
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What do you call a rapper who's always sleepy?
NAP-TAIN
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
How do you be friends with a musician?
B minor.