Musician

Musician Jokes

Wheelchair

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

Eye

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

Life

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

Roll

Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?

Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.

Rapper

What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?

A rapscallion without the rap.

Hit

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a weatherman?

To predict the HEAT of his next single.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!