Music jokes
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little boy blue.
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"