Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite town? Boise.
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
