Music

Music jokes

Song

29 views ·

Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.

Pop

11 views ·

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

s/o

18 views ·

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

Party

11 views ·

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Floor

4 views ·

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Peter Pan

40 views ·

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Chicken

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"