What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
what’s the difference between the baby i just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
