Move jokes

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?

You move all of the furniture around.

So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?

You move the chairs.

What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?

A mountain!

hehehehehehehehehehe

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.

"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."

"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."

I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny.

Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

What did the cow say to the fat pig?

Moooooooove over!

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.