How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
What goes up and down and does not move? Stairs
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What is a Mexicans favorite move in a video game? Wall jumping
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
Your hairline was playing Sorry!
Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
