Move Jokes

Why did the family move away?

Because they lost their son.

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

How do homeless people move where there living?

They pickup there box and walk away 🖕🏿

What's big round and can't move?

A vegetable

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

History meme for y’all

The image shows a dialogue between Columbus and Indigenous tribes. Columbus says they don't have guns, and the tribes reply they have tons of gold. The image then shows a man saying, "I'm gonna do what's called a pro-gamer move."

What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?

A Slowpoke.

Being the first to move in chess.

It’s a white privilege.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?

The banana 🍌 split.

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock?"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.