Move

Move jokes

Superpower

    • You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!

    "Yah, I do!"

    Oh yeah? What is it?

    "My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"

    That’s breathing, Jim.

    "NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"

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    • Kid

    • Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

    But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

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    • Crush

    • My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

    Move memes

    Lighthouse

    • The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

    "Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

    The commander starts answering:

    "No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

    "Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

    "Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

    After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

    "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

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    • Star

    • So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

    Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

    Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

    Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

    Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

    Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

    Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

    NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

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    • Tortoise

    • The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

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    • White people

    • Why do white people colonize everything?

    To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

    Body

    • What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

    Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

    Muffin

    • Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

    The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

    The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

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