So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
if stephen hawking was in a horror movie .... would he make his robot try and shout “aaaaaaaaah help me , i can’t move i’m too scared” ???
Friend 1 : how come when you say apart your lips move apart but when you say together they move apart? Me: maybe your lips want a divorce
if u r a big fan of me go to the move and i kill the badguys a if u dont i will be mad and i will be sonic .exe lol
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs
You move the chairs
So one day i have a wife but if its getting a longer day she is moving so weird and i see she has sex with rick astley😂 [rickrolled]
A person told an orphan to not move otherwise they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do? It danced it's a$$ off
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some MONEY MOVES
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
“These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells.”
“oh cool”
“this is mother Teresa’s clock, the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied.”
“Makes sense”
“This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice.”
“Where’s Trump’s clock”
“Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan.”
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
