Mortality jokes
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
-->[]life death[]<--
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.