What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.