Mortality jokes
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"