Morbidity jokes
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?
A: Because they are!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.