Morbidity jokes
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?
A: Because they are!
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."