Morbidity jokes
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
Small People.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
"Morbidity, the story of my life in one joke."
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.