How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
Morbid Jokes
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
