So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Why can’t Asians play baseball? Because they can’t see that ball
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
Joke.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
Hi, I have a question for you.
Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?
Yeah, sorry xD
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
a man walks into a bar
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
