What is something that smells yuck? 🤮
Old bus seats.
Morbid Jokes
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
This joke is short... like your dick!
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
