Morbid jokes
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What is something that smells yuck? 🤮
Old bus seats.
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
This joke is short... like your dick!
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.