Morbid jokes
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...