What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Morbid Jokes
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
