Morbid jokes
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Me.
The joke is me.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.