A man found a chest full of gold so he went to go tell his wife only to remember why he was digging
where did little lucy go during the bombing? everywhere
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder. If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say 'Knock knock,' we’d say 'Who’s there?.' Then she’d say 'I can’t remember'... and start to cry."
What do you think is going through kids heads during school shootings. Bullets
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters
Q:What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A:You gonna eat that?
What objects have the most gravitational force. A lambo and a gold digger
So I ran into my Specialist Doctor and he said "pick a star sign, any star sign" so I said "Capricorn " and he said "nah you got cancer".
What's green and smells like ham.
Kermit the frogs fingers
I asked my daddy what sex was he said wanna cum and try it
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road........suicidal
What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive. What's worse than that? The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
So one day I was walking home from school with my best friend sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that bob the class rep got her pregnant a eight months ago and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said “sally it’ll be ok I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson” “yeah thanks suzy” she said to me then went into her house. The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school so I was like oh she must be in trouble with her mom I’ll go check on her So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands “oh hello. Is that Sally’s son!! Can I see sally?” Her mom says sure and I go inside but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone “here lies sally 2004-2020” so I ask her mom in tears “oh did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied “you could say that..”
how do you know youre following a dolorean? the white line disappears