What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Morbid Jokes
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
Me.
The joke is me.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
