Morbid jokes
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.