Morbid jokes
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Me.
The joke is me.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Kids?
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."