Morbid Jokes

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?" She points off the cliff and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside all mangled and dead. The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

Whats the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds? - theres twenty of them

What’s the difference between women and condoms ?

There isn’t a difference they’re both throw aways.

There was a women from ealing, she had a peculiar feeling, she laid on her backk, opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling

Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

Stephen hawking lost connection to the WiFi

"How was your day?" "It was great" "what was so great about it?" "i saw a puppy" "awww" "and i ran over it :)"

Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.

What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? 2 planes

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

What do you call a aisan man flying a plane

A pilot you racist fuck

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

pls help my dad is a addict he wont stop and he eats my food. Sometimes i think should i kill him but nah he will go down with the others who did that too.