Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Girl

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

Cow

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Suicide

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Display

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

Animal

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

School Bus

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

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  • Bible

    What does the Bible stand for?

    Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

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  • Rabbit

    "Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

    "Ok!"

    "Are you ok, man?"

    "Yeah, I’m fine."

    "Dude, pull your pants back up!"

    Hula-hoop

    How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

    Titanic

    The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"

    Csgo

    Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

    Life

    Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

    Color

    If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?