Morbid Jokes

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Willis.

Willis who?

Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.

Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

"My penis."

I made a website for orphans.

It has no home page.

People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!

The clock struck one!

Then down did come!

Hickory dickory doc

What am I?

Random- a mouse?

Me- no dumb shit!

Random- what is it?

Me- the guillotine!

When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

Poo.

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"

The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."

The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck it off...

When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

Please dislike.

Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"