Morbid jokes
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?
A: Because they are!
What's the difference between a club and a bar? I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.