Morbid jokes
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
Your joke: you.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.