A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
