Mom's jokes

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.

A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.

Sad life goes, joke mom.

Fat moms.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

I love my mom.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."