Mom's jokes
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
My mom
Mom! (DYM 7)
Your mom dot com.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
Mom!
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Mom! (DYM 22)