Mom jokes

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

Ur mom gay.

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.