Mom

Mom jokes

Porn

    • I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

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    • Orphan

    • An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

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    • Incest

    • So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

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    • Mom memes

    Road

    • Why did your mom cross the road?

    You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

    Moral

    • A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

    "My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    "Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"

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    • Snake

    • There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

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    • Prank

    • Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.

    Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!

    1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.

    2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!

    3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.

    4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".

    She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!

    Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee

    Life

    • I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

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