Mom jokes
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Memes
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Ur mom gay.
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."