Mom jokes

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!