Mom jokes

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

Ur mom gay.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD