Mom jokes

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

Your mom's a whore, and so are you!

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.