Mom jokes
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Your mother.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.