Mom jokes
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
Your mom.
Your mom's a lead, Poe.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Yo mama looks like the dinosaur from Lilo & Stitch.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-