Mom jokes

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."

Orphan: Starts crying.

Why did the baby cow cross the road?

To find its mom who has the milk.

Knock, knock.

Your mom.

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.