Mom jokes
My mom picked my major.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.