Mom jokes

Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.