Mom jokes
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
My mom picked my major.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Your mom.