Mom jokes
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Memes
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
My mom picked my major.
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."