Mom Jokes

Kenny's favourite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: we don't want him

Orphan: And I took that, Personally-

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god my mom's gonna kill me!"

i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: "so u like girls" i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back

What does santa say about my mom? HO HO HO

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. his mom did too.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can i have some milk?" He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: "No your dad still isn't back with it."

roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone to

when you get mad just punch a orphan who are they going to tell their mom

Why did the titanic sink...... Cause you mom was ok on it

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of tittys.