Mom jokes

Mom, can I please go out and play?

... no answer.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

What joke could orphan's never understand?

Your Mom jokes.

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.