Mom jokes

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."

"Son, stay out of the drawer."

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?

Kid: Your mom!

Orphan: (cries)

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

* * *

Your mom.

Your mom gay.