Mom jokes

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."

"Son, stay out of the drawer."

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

How do you make an orphan shut up?

You tell his mom.

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Mom, I’m pregnant.

Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.

Your mom gay.

Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

Your mom's a lead, Poe.

Your mom is a mom!

Why do orphans have water in cereal?

Because mom was never around to produce milk.

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Your mom is a joke.