Mistake jokes
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What you think about my sudoku record? Evil sudoku, no notes, no hints!
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
It's not a mistake, it's a ✨ masterpiece ✨.