Mistake Jokes

so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak

I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then “WHOA-MAN!!”

Dear Autocorrect i never wanted to spell the Word "bigger"

Here are a few:

While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!

Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

I thought god didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Mom asks “Who are you talking to?” The child said “A mistake.”

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Stephen Hawkins death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

quit making Plane jokes there just PLANE wrong

today was the worst day ever my ex got ran over by a bus, and i lost my job as a bus driver

Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time