Mistake jokes
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
I can't help myself I put it down on paper All the different stages, memories of us That's the only way I know that I can shake it Writing all our pages, every single thought I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic No, you've never tried to understand Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
I can't wait for you to recognize the stories Like when you said i was beautiful Will you act as if you haven't even heard it? Nothing of it really matters 'Cause I know you don't like when I'm nostalgic Go back to the start to get an end Say you're doing fine, don't think about it Like I do.
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
Just to get over what we lost, what we lost I put it in words to clear my thoughts And just to get over, over us I had to, I had to
Sorry for writing all the songs about you I know that you hate that I got more to say Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to Swear no one will know that every moment was true All the mistakes and why I ran away Sorry for writing all the songs about you But I had to, oh, I had to
sorry kenny?!
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
Oofer.
"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."