Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favourite teacher. One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas. The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas? Johnny Relied. Sorry miss my rabbit died.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds. One of the kids says something. Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty? The other kid says something else. Yes. It sounds cool. After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over. But I think it's missing something though. The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking. Oh, I know what it is! After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack. The first kid speaks. Icy what you did there. The other kid replies. Good thing I didn't slip up there. The first kid replies. Well, that's snow problem. The other kid then uttered this: These puns would make the most frigid individual crack-up. The first kid then says: I know, right? They then begin a snowball fight. The other kid then says: Only the men have snowballs!
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet. So he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes but before you go what is the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies " I don't know miss.... The teacher says that he will have to wait. Later the boy goes home to his mom that is on the phone. What is the first letter in the alphabet? His mom says "Oh shut up! So the boy goes to his dad that is playing darts and says "what is the second letter in the alphabet? His dad says "180"! So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks "what is the 3rd letter in the alphabet"? The sister says " I'm a Barbie girl in a barbie world"! The next day the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again so he goes to ask if he can go and the teacher says " yes but before you go what is the 3 letters in the alphabet"? They boy says " oh shut up"! The teacher is angry about that so she says "what is the second one"? "180"! Says the boy and the teacher asks him where he is from and the boy says " I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world!"
The end
Hey guys! Ello here with a update! I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to downtown disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that, then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay til midniht, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week the 16 year oldโs shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr oldโs belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until heโd talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.
โLook, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. Iโm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We donโt have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?โ
She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."
"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."
She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45 pound pail of peanut butter!"
He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called 'serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude come on you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name- Ghostiano Penaldo Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium Characteristics: Disappearing in big games+Diving+always ranting "give me penalty" Last found - Practicing tap ins Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone
Might be dangerous towards good players
Wash It Away- By- Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions-Why does it always feel like I'm The one that's had a bad day? Whether I'm stuck in traffic or Showing up to work late Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to Forever been working all week For a jerk that thinks they can Say whatever they want to me I'll just bite my tongue for a Couple more days Soon I'll be in that island sun Surfing those waves I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Finally I'm here and I cant even Stop myself from smiling Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island Don't miss my 9 to 5 Living like a local on this island time I got those sandy toes and Nobody knows jump in the Ocean and just go with the flow I'll miss my sandy toes I've got to go back before you Know this island is my home I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Wash it away I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta Wash it away Wash it away
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long but boy it's awfully sad Althought I came from a hole (Althought I came from a hole) I'm singin right from the soul (I'm singin roight from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And someobody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Prince might be with a new girl but he still wants Gwen, who dosent. Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through gmail. We broke up, its over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I missed you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry I can't hear you...your breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Want more go to break up jokes, love jokes, hate jokes and Revenge jokes and rape jokes!
Drivers License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo- I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
Y'uree (๐๐): Bruh ... listen ... gangbang ... sex ... the same
Halyei (๐): Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree (๐): Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei (๐): Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod (๐): Are you Breya ???
Halyei (๐): No ... do I like that flying bastard ???
Jarod (๐ฃ): Ugh ... no ... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei (๐): Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! (๐) Sorry for being an idiot. (๐) I really miss her. (๐ค) Maybe you and I can give her a threesome ??? (๐) No, I'm not gay! ( ) WHY !!!!!!!! (๐) Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! (๐จ) Sorry!
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!! Richard: What???? Rick: So Before donald trumps impeachment he said " The CoronaVirus will end on march 32nd 2021 Richard: Your from planet arth where there's a march 32nd enjoy it *stupid dumb fuck brother* Rick: Oh I will *It was the day March 21st* *9 Days later* *March 31st* Rick: oh I cant want until tomarrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so exited im gonna give my friends a big'ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man *one day later* *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it* Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING !ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS *Richard* *oh he's the dumbass*
